non-wedding blog

i don't want this to become a wedding blog.
and until now i refrained from mentioning anything wedding-related on here.
except that this is (one of) my outlet(s) for talking things out of my head and so if this happens to be about *a* wedding, then it is what it is.

it started with wanting to throw a good party to celebrate our union.
that's all. nothing more, nothing less.
okay, maybe something more.
after over a decade of togetherness bob proposed.
needless to say i was a bit shocked (and in a hot air balloon over turkey so thankfully shocked enough to be frozen to the basket).
after years of talking about all the reasons we did not want to have a wedding (it wasn't the "getting married" part, because really, weren't we already? it was the "having a wedding" bit).
later that day we drank wine in bed in the middle of the afternoon, in our underwear, munching on pistachios, talking about how we ended up with this decision.
let's throw a great shindig with fantastic food, drink, family and friends, with a wedding thrown in for good measure, we said.
let's do a lot of it ourselves, we said.
let's keep it recycled and local, we said.
let's try and keep the budget down, but the good times up, we said.
let's try to keep it small, despite our huge families (one being Italian), we said.
let's come back here (to Turkey) to get hitched, we said.
no Italy! the Cinque Terre! we said.
or Algonquin Park, we said!
people who really want to be there will find a way, we said.
who is most important anyway? we asked.
our immediate families would find a way to be there, we said.
with idealistic dreams of fantasy wedding parties (probably from too much wine before dinner) we feel asleep for a nap. i remember waking up wondering whether i had just dreamed the better part of that morning.

upon returning to Canada, and our pact to let our families know the exciting news via postcards (which happened to arrive 2 weeks after our return, heh), dreams got shot out the window.
Turkey? Italy? too expensive for our family to travel to. too difficult for our sisters with their families and children. Algonquin Park? mum (mine) was adamant about "not camping". although we assured her she would not have to sleep in a tent on our wedding weekend, the other option was upscale resort.
beautiful, but too expensive. (and too dirty dancing-ish, in my opinion).

third best option: Toronto Island. yes!
perfect for us. very "us".
where we go to get out of the city and yet be in it at the same time.
we spend a lot of time out there in the summer, why not get hitched there?
still kicked up a bit of sand from mum, who is, i found out, not only adamant about not camping, but dislikes: rain, bugs, dirt, sand, cold...sky, sun, grass, generally anything to do with the outdoors, it seems.

regardless, it was a good compromise.
let's do it. but who do we invite? what's our budget?
and there it was, it had begun.
just as non-traditional as we had hoped and yet traditional planning with a traditional guest list.
we have too many invitees. but we can't cross any of them off.
family we know well, but don't see very often.
friends who we feel we need to invite, but really? how many of them are actually our friends? when we ask these friends to hang out or help us out, how many actually answer the call?

our catering budget has gone out the window.
ideas are being sacrificed.
i told bob i no longer wanted this wedding.
he said, i hear you. you don't want to get married.
but no, that's not it. not at all.
nothing would make me happier than marrying you.
my love, my soul mate, my best friend of more than 10 years!
i would be honoured to be your wife.
but the whole wedding bit? what were we thinking?