the moon, the stars...whatever...something's not in alignment

so a series of unfortunate events in the week have led me to believe that there are forces beyond my control...my, my, how my beliefs change with the passing tides...
i'm thinking i may read more about simone de beauvoir because however briefly we touched on her in existentialism class, from what i understand, she proposed the idea that our patterns of thinking were purely situational. how we act and make decisions and what we believe in should be on a case by case basis. i can completely relate to that. i mean, look at me...today...thinking that there is some external force affecting or causing the recent suicides (one, a client of the mental health team i work for and two, a resident--not our client--of a nearby boarding house that we frequent to see other clients).
i also have to wonder whether her being one of the only female existentialist thinkers, or writers, that the situation-based thinking is heavily influenced by gender. this is what is wanting me to read more.
after a recent fight of epic proportions for a couple who never fight, i got to thinking...sometimes i think girls are crazy...myself included. and it's much easier to blame the insanity on gender, but playing into the whole gender role thing makes me queasy since it's society that has created the gender roles anyway...so blaming it on an external force is a much easier way to quell the guilt, i guess. but i joke. kinda.
this situation is so unusual that i don't even know how we're to recover.

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Music to my ears: the humming of a work computer and the buzzing of an extra large fly.
Food for thought: Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho

check this

come check out our table on saturday at Big on Bloor.

JJM - a trio of old roommates making art.
Tables G-06 & G-07 (between Westmoreland & Dovercourt)

for a taste of what to expect, follow the links below:

1st J
2nd J

life is full of contradictions

is it Camus who actually committed philosophical suicide by committing us to absurdity?
Or was it Kierkegaard because he gave up his questions to be answered by God?
According to Camus, the theistic thinkers gave up rationality and looked for hope instead. Hope in transcendence.
Staying in the absurdity and finding meaning in the situation is what brings joy. For Camus, joy is the transcendence. But doesn't that mean that he himself has committed philosophical suicide by choosing something?

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Addicted to: LOST season 4