ocean 5

so if there wasn't a dominant theory about personality, would half of the people who we define as having mental illness still be considered ill?
i love psychology, but psychologists are always trying to figure us out, you know?
in the '80s, researchers Costa & McCrae came up with yet another psychometric approach to personality that is now a dominant view. they say there are 5 major variables of personality that are replicable across time and across cultures.

Openness (willing to try new things)
Conscientiousness (regard for others)
Extroversion (level of sociability)
Agreeableness (pleasant to interact with)
Neuroticism (guilty, worrisome, anxious)

so this is it. they've boiled us down to 5 traits, or a combination thereof.
by asking their research participants to answer a questionnaire, which they have never published. huh.
so if we can only be these traits, even in any combination, people who exhibit other traits are what? mentally ill? outside of "the norm"? makes you wonder. well, it makes me wonder.
there were others that were quite popular pre Costa & McCrae, like Eysenck who came up with 3 personality prototypes: neuroticism (unstable & introverted, worried, guilty, moody); psychoticism (extroverted but emotionally unstable, seeks out social interactions but volatile and moody); extroverted (lively, social, responsive, good at seeking out harmonious relationships)...this means i'm psychotic.
like Cattell, who said there are 16 factors of personality that are source traits--the root of our behaviour

i'm thinkin i'm a bit of a critic of the trait theories
Walter Mischel is too.
he says behaviour is determined by the situation rather than personality.
situationism. i like that.
maybe if we all wanted to go to parties all the time, we'd all be extroverted and highly sociable.
maybe if we were all confronted with voices in our heads, we'd be introverted and talk out loud to ourselves.
maybe if we weren't confined to fit into 5 personality traits, other traits wouldn't seem so extraordinary.
if we were all the same, nobody's behaviour would be out of the ordinary.
what fun is that?

one answer to cancer: broccoli

lying in bed in the morning, deciding what to do for the day, bob says:
"you can jump my bones if you want to".
"oh really? can i?", i say, laying on the sarcasm pretty thick.
he says,
"you know, you're not doing yourself anything in the favours department"

(manny - 0, bob - 1)

suspicion breeds confidence

i have had many friends that i've lost.

i had a friend who, this past summer, had a bit of a breakdown and landed herself on the mental health unit at the local hospital...and in legal limbo.
i supported her for a while then lost touch with her as she left hospital and moved north to recoup, prepare for endless court battles...and find jesus.

i had a dream last night that i found her and asked her to fill me in on what i'd missed.
she was now getting married, having a baby and leading a "normal life".
the woman i used to know would have shat on the idea of what constitutes a "normal life". she had fought in the face of adversity. she had divorced a husband who was emotionally abusive, quit her job that she was no longer satisfied with, had moved out of the 'burbs, into the city with a wonderful guy she had hooked up with at a party. they got along wonderfully. she was doing art. and playing in a band.
she had endured the black sheep of the family moniker and i had looked up to her for that.

this is my biggest fear working in mental health.
are we just getting people healthy to keep up with the Jones'?
are we trying to fix people to conform to society's norms?
what is this medication we're giving?
take this happy pill and be like everybody else...you don't have to worry about being different anymore.

finally. the last day. not "finally" as in vacation's over. finally, as in, took long enough to post the ending.

(Quidi Vidi fishing stages)

we woke up to another sunny day. sad that we were leaving St. John's.
we splurged on a big breakfast at Bagel Cafe, busy little dark joint that doubles as a bar at night.
wooden booths and japanese paper lanterns didn't disguise the delicious traditional Newfoundland breakfast.
salty fishcakes and eggs. what a fantastic combo.

especially followed by beer at Quidi Vidi brewery.
we saved this wonderful little town and tour of the brewery for our last mini-trip before the airport. the old historic fishing town of Quidi Vidi (pron: kiddy viddy) lies just on the other side of Signal Hill.
we walked off the fishcakes.
a bit of a trek, but not impossible by any means. plus, for 8 buckaroos you're rewarded with samples of every beer they brew, a tour of the place, and then a full bottle of your choice to enjoy on the dock.
we both chose the 1892 but i also really enjoyed Eric's Red, which isn't a red at all, but a smooth-tasting cream ale.
too bad our 2 bottle mix-pack that we tried to smuggle on the plane got confiscated.
at least it made us aware of the one bottle that had busted in bob's bag and left all of our clothes soaking in 1892 goodness.

so in the oldest town in North America exists one of its oldest residential structures.
entering the cottage is like going through a hobbit door.
and the place is crammed, i mean, crammed! full of antiques and junk and local crafts.



the lovely woman who runs the place uses the money from sales to keep the place going...naturally we had to buy something.



i scored a wonderful handmade inuit-style long hooded coat with fur and embroidery made by a woman in Labrador. bob scored an antique Parker pen to add to his collection.



suddenly heading back to town we feared we were running late. big surprise there.
and yet we still made a stop in the arts council to pick up a piece of art by a local artist.
a wonderful lino cut print of a codfish (but of course!) by Janet Davis.

we decided to grab a bite to go for the wait at the airport, assuming we'd have no problems this time getting our oversized luggage on the aircraft.
unbelievably we found another tiny little Indian place with some of the best tasting food to the east of Little India.
on that day, our final day, i could have stayed in Newfoundland forever.
long may yer big jib draw

Day 12 (real time: Day 14) - last full day in St. John's

after our previous evening of great jazz at the Ship Inn, we tired early and checked out to relax at home.
waking up this morning was by our own internal clocks. lying in bed, being lazy, we talked about going to check out The Sprout (St. John's only vegan resto) for dinner that night...reading the menu Bob says:

"this is why people don't like vegans, you know"
me: "why?"
bob: "because they name burgers things like give peas a chance" (note: neither of us tried this burger, but our meals were totally delicious)


(Storm's Island Gold ale)

we spent the morning and afternoon taking apart the bikes and packing them up, along with the rest of our stuff, with the ultimate goal of reducing our checked luggage.
it was frustrating and so by mid-afternoon we went for ice cream at Moo-Moos, the local dairy.
the wind was so incredibly crazy and the sky a wacky mix of grey and blue clouds that i just had to try Newfie Storm (a tasty, tasty, homemade--did i mention tasty?--mix of caramel and chocolate in mocha ice cream)...bob had Orange-Pineapple.


(orange-pineapple)


(newfie storm)

we walked along the steep side streets, admiring the colourful houses and then along Duckworth St...
thankfully it started to rain just as we neared a used book store (clearly we have an addiction)...but Bob found a heavy metal anthology of reviews from the 70s until the late 90s.
definitely a wicked find.

so what better way to top off a wonderful and relaxed and calm veg dinner than with some crazy hardcore music...i'm talking circa 1996...thankfully this still exists in St. John's at Distortion. it was a cd release party for Two Guitars Clash, but after seeing Icebreaker perform, we really didn't need to stay and compare.

*note to self...put on ipod when i get home:
1. sick of it all
2. snapcase - designs for automotion