blueberry pancakes and bad news

so it was dad & daughters day yesterday.
sis and i took pops to a toronto rock game (lacrosse is the best ever)
went for brunch before the game.
as i'm shovelling eggs and hashbrowns into my mouth (i was hungover and starving) pops decides to tell me that they found a mass on his kidney.
i looked up mid-forkful and the rest played out like a movie.
i laughed and said, "get outta here"
and looked across at my sister.
she dropped her eyes. there was no smile there.
"you're joking right?"
"no", pops says.
as the smile slid off my face. suddenly i couldn't swallow. my throat constricted, like last week when boiling hot soup got past my tongue somehow and my throat clamped shut to protect my esophagus from being burned, but instead gave me burns in the very back of my mouth.
it hurt. like this hurt.
i looked at my sister again, who looked at me. her eyes were empty. i couldn't read anything on her face, except that she didn't know how to feel either.
my dad kept eating. he was never one to show emotions.
very machismo. comes with the heritage i guess.
just like the cancer that runs in his family.