why is 30 such a milestone? i don't know why i don't want a big party, i just don't.
and it's not that i think i'm getting old...the number means nothing to me.
if anything it's a celebration that my 20s are finally over.
so why must everyone insist on having a party?
why is it any different than any other birthday?
and why do you think i'm going to regret not having one?
2/27/07
2/26/07
stoopid facebook
so here i am...addicted to facebook.
and i stayed far far away from myspace...successfully.
and now this.
i got suckered in and now i can't stop.
who are all these people? i can't even remember these people who want to be my friend.
this is so very strange.
and i stayed far far away from myspace...successfully.
and now this.
i got suckered in and now i can't stop.
who are all these people? i can't even remember these people who want to be my friend.
this is so very strange.
2/21/07
hypersensitivity in the morning
after my morning jog i passed a lady who smelled like that cheap soap you get at the dollar store...like fa bodywash or something.
flaring my nostrils, i happened to cross paths with an old tanned man who smelled of florida...like panama jack tanning oil.
made me want to go on vacation.
flaring my nostrils, i happened to cross paths with an old tanned man who smelled of florida...like panama jack tanning oil.
made me want to go on vacation.
2/19/07
blueberry pancakes and bad news
so it was dad & daughters day yesterday.
sis and i took pops to a toronto rock game (lacrosse is the best ever)
went for brunch before the game.
as i'm shovelling eggs and hashbrowns into my mouth (i was hungover and starving) pops decides to tell me that they found a mass on his kidney.
i looked up mid-forkful and the rest played out like a movie.
i laughed and said, "get outta here"
and looked across at my sister.
she dropped her eyes. there was no smile there.
"you're joking right?"
"no", pops says.
as the smile slid off my face. suddenly i couldn't swallow. my throat constricted, like last week when boiling hot soup got past my tongue somehow and my throat clamped shut to protect my esophagus from being burned, but instead gave me burns in the very back of my mouth.
it hurt. like this hurt.
i looked at my sister again, who looked at me. her eyes were empty. i couldn't read anything on her face, except that she didn't know how to feel either.
my dad kept eating. he was never one to show emotions.
very machismo. comes with the heritage i guess.
just like the cancer that runs in his family.
sis and i took pops to a toronto rock game (lacrosse is the best ever)
went for brunch before the game.
as i'm shovelling eggs and hashbrowns into my mouth (i was hungover and starving) pops decides to tell me that they found a mass on his kidney.
i looked up mid-forkful and the rest played out like a movie.
i laughed and said, "get outta here"
and looked across at my sister.
she dropped her eyes. there was no smile there.
"you're joking right?"
"no", pops says.
as the smile slid off my face. suddenly i couldn't swallow. my throat constricted, like last week when boiling hot soup got past my tongue somehow and my throat clamped shut to protect my esophagus from being burned, but instead gave me burns in the very back of my mouth.
it hurt. like this hurt.
i looked at my sister again, who looked at me. her eyes were empty. i couldn't read anything on her face, except that she didn't know how to feel either.
my dad kept eating. he was never one to show emotions.
very machismo. comes with the heritage i guess.
just like the cancer that runs in his family.
2/16/07
snow snow snow and more snow
we finally got some of the good ol' canadian white stuff this past v-day.
so we did what any good canadians would do...bundle up like stay-puft marshmallow men, grab some krazy karpets, and hit the closest hill.
let me tell you, when you're approaching 30 you're just not as light and nimble as you once were...so the karpets move slower, and in your attempt to push yourself even further down the hill, the walk up seems way longer than it used to.
we lasted a good 20 minutes or so before we were so frozen that a cold beer seemed like the best idea.
check out our deck...we opened the door and a whole bunch of snow fell into the house.
i think it's time for a bbq (if we can find it)
2/15/07
feng shui and monkeys
this is why the L.A. zoo is publicly funded, i guess.
oh wait. here's my favourite quote:
"we don’t have any books on feng shui for monkeys. we have to assume that Darwin is correct and that there is a connection and what is good for humans is good for monkeys"
brilliant.
2/12/07
the rise or fall of the ttc?
one by one the passengers let out sighs of anger, helplessness, distress--all bundled into one heavy breath....between pursed lips and open mouths.
and it's making me giggle ridiculously while the driver adds to the tension by consistently braking at the last minute before a stop--the sound of grating metal.
maybe the streetcars breakdown as ttc's secret revolt: get the loyal riders frustrated during rush hour in the hopes that the people will get through to the government.
the union's not working anymore--there's no funding for our public transport.
maybe the new grassroots revolution begins on the 504.
and it's making me giggle ridiculously while the driver adds to the tension by consistently braking at the last minute before a stop--the sound of grating metal.
maybe the streetcars breakdown as ttc's secret revolt: get the loyal riders frustrated during rush hour in the hopes that the people will get through to the government.
the union's not working anymore--there's no funding for our public transport.
maybe the new grassroots revolution begins on the 504.
2/7/07
fat fingers with big rings
i don't know why it bothers me so much. but when i see a man with fat fingers wearing those big gold rings, i shiver.
it's not the fat fingers alone...but with those crazy rings.
it's not the fat fingers alone...but with those crazy rings.
2/1/07
health and human rights
i've always entertained the idea of going overseas either as a nursing student or when i become an RN.
and it's not so much the ideology of "saving the world" so much anymore, as it was when i was 16...i'd like to think i'm much smarter than that now
but i did still have a small hope that maybe i could help out in some way...put my skills to use, even if it just helped one person.
two weekends ago i attended UofT's Health and Human Rights Conference....some really great speakers--among them Dr. Gerald Caplan, senior advisor to Stephen Lewis...he was fascinating and entertaining
much of the talks related to war zones and/or africa's hiv/aids epidemic.
a couple of the speakers brought up the notion of humanitarian tourism, as opposed to humanitarian aid.
it really made me re-think my ideas.
to sum up, they pretty much said that humanitarian aid shouldn't be just a band-aid. it can only be that way for so long, until you have to start advocating for reform in the country's own health care system. as an HCP going overseas, you should be going with a plan...the plan being how to make it so that you're actually not needed there.
with about 25% of med school students taking electives overseas, some countries have become saturated with students who are there as band-aids...and many times not knowing what to expect once there...potentially not being of much help at all.
and the money spent on airfare by students could actually be of more help if donated to trained professionals on the ground.
i can definitely see the point there for countries in conflict. however in order to find somebody who is willing to commit themselves to helping make those changes, that person has to see and experience first hand what they will eventually commit to.
so if out of those 25% of students go, 24% are of no help, perhaps there will be that 1% that will be the ones to have a plan and make those changes.
aside from war-torn countries, i think i'd still like to go to a country that could use help with education and or clinical rotations. maybe somewhere in south america, or parts of africa that aren't necessarily in conflict, but need bodies to help with hiv/aids education and clinic set up.
and yes, i'd have to pay for it. and yes, i realize that the money i spend could go to potentially stock a whole clinic full of medical supplies. but i know this, and still wish to experience it myself. and i don't look at it as anything other than humanitarian tourism on my part.
and it's not so much the ideology of "saving the world" so much anymore, as it was when i was 16...i'd like to think i'm much smarter than that now
but i did still have a small hope that maybe i could help out in some way...put my skills to use, even if it just helped one person.
two weekends ago i attended UofT's Health and Human Rights Conference....some really great speakers--among them Dr. Gerald Caplan, senior advisor to Stephen Lewis...he was fascinating and entertaining
much of the talks related to war zones and/or africa's hiv/aids epidemic.
a couple of the speakers brought up the notion of humanitarian tourism, as opposed to humanitarian aid.
it really made me re-think my ideas.
to sum up, they pretty much said that humanitarian aid shouldn't be just a band-aid. it can only be that way for so long, until you have to start advocating for reform in the country's own health care system. as an HCP going overseas, you should be going with a plan...the plan being how to make it so that you're actually not needed there.
with about 25% of med school students taking electives overseas, some countries have become saturated with students who are there as band-aids...and many times not knowing what to expect once there...potentially not being of much help at all.
and the money spent on airfare by students could actually be of more help if donated to trained professionals on the ground.
i can definitely see the point there for countries in conflict. however in order to find somebody who is willing to commit themselves to helping make those changes, that person has to see and experience first hand what they will eventually commit to.
so if out of those 25% of students go, 24% are of no help, perhaps there will be that 1% that will be the ones to have a plan and make those changes.
aside from war-torn countries, i think i'd still like to go to a country that could use help with education and or clinical rotations. maybe somewhere in south america, or parts of africa that aren't necessarily in conflict, but need bodies to help with hiv/aids education and clinic set up.
and yes, i'd have to pay for it. and yes, i realize that the money i spend could go to potentially stock a whole clinic full of medical supplies. but i know this, and still wish to experience it myself. and i don't look at it as anything other than humanitarian tourism on my part.
1/6/07
the inner eyelids of cats
i actually have wondered this.
my crazy kitty sleeps on my face, so i have plenty of time to check out her eyes.
it's weird.
my crazy kitty sleeps on my face, so i have plenty of time to check out her eyes.
it's weird.
cleaning out gmail
old story, i know.
but seems fitting, considering it's 12 degrees and raining in ontario on january 6th.
have i secretly moved to vancouver and forgotten?
it's also not january 6th anymore. but that's when i wrote this.
but seems fitting, considering it's 12 degrees and raining in ontario on january 6th.
have i secretly moved to vancouver and forgotten?
it's also not january 6th anymore. but that's when i wrote this.
resolutions
i hate new year's resolutions.
they never work.
too much pressure.
so my resolution is always to never make resolutions and then secretly tell myself to get in better shape, eat well, keep running.
because those aren't resolutions for a new year, i tell myself.
those are just things i should do.
and now more.
it's not just calories and jumping jacks.
they never work.
too much pressure.
so my resolution is always to never make resolutions and then secretly tell myself to get in better shape, eat well, keep running.
because those aren't resolutions for a new year, i tell myself.
those are just things i should do.
and now more.
it's not just calories and jumping jacks.
back to school
starting monday, i sleep a lot more.
snoozing my way to straight As...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
snoozing my way to straight As...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
1/5/07
1/4/07
confessions of a cyberchondriac
combine the internet with my nursing textbooks and i swear this schooling is making a hypochondriac out of me.
funny story.
funny story.
12/31/06
good food for good fortune
if you tried all of these wonderful food traditions from all over the world, are you then guaranteed atleast some good fortune in the new year? if you love food like i love food then it doesn't really matter. just eat.
spain & grapes - eat 12 grapes at midnight, one for each stroke of the clock. if any of them are sour, then that month will be no good. for example, if the 3rd grape you eat is yucky, then march will be yucky. make sure to swallow all grapes by midnight. if you're in peru, you can swallow a 13th grape for good measure.
(see also: portugal, venezuela, peru, cuba, mexico, ecuador)
greens - a common good fortune food across many cultures because the green represents moolah. the big buckaroos. sometimes folded. the more you eat, the more money you will receive in the new year. and the more you will have to be on the toilet, in my opinion.
(ie: germans-sauerkraut; danish-stewed kale; southern americans-collard greens)
legumes - also represents money. this time coins. beans, lentils and peas all swell when cooked, symbolizing financial gains.
(ie: brazil-lentil soup; japan-kuro-mame; southern us-hoppin' john)
usa's black-eyed pea symbolism (the main ingredient in hoppin' john) goes back to civil war era when some small town in virginia apparently ran out of food while under attack and discovered the bean(pea?). have considered it lucky ever since.
pork - swine signifies progress. who knew?
(see: cuba, spain, portugal, hungary, austria--all of whom eat a roast suckling pig)
(see also: germany-sausages; sweden-pigs' feet)
(see also: italy & usa who think the fat content is indicative of wealth and prosperity...of course they do.)
fish - apparently a very wise choice around the globe. my favourite reasons go to japan: herring roe for fertility, shrimp for longevity, and sardines for a good harvest.
cakes & baked goods - always a reason to consume cake. although with some cultures, the cake is a gamble.
(see: mexico & greece who hide a trinket in a cake. whoever bites into that trinket is the one who gets the good fortune of the new year. and perhaps a hefty dentist bill.)
(see also: sweden & norway who have cut down on broken teeth by putting an almond, which is indeed edible, in rice pudding for the same reason as the trinket in the cake.)
whatever you do, do NOT eat the following (in no particular order):
lobster - they move backwards, which could signify setbacks
chicken - they scratch backwards, which could cause regret or dwelling on the past
(see also: any winged fowl - your good luck could fly away)
happy 2007.
spain & grapes - eat 12 grapes at midnight, one for each stroke of the clock. if any of them are sour, then that month will be no good. for example, if the 3rd grape you eat is yucky, then march will be yucky. make sure to swallow all grapes by midnight. if you're in peru, you can swallow a 13th grape for good measure.
(see also: portugal, venezuela, peru, cuba, mexico, ecuador)
greens - a common good fortune food across many cultures because the green represents moolah. the big buckaroos. sometimes folded. the more you eat, the more money you will receive in the new year. and the more you will have to be on the toilet, in my opinion.
(ie: germans-sauerkraut; danish-stewed kale; southern americans-collard greens)
legumes - also represents money. this time coins. beans, lentils and peas all swell when cooked, symbolizing financial gains.
(ie: brazil-lentil soup; japan-kuro-mame; southern us-hoppin' john)
usa's black-eyed pea symbolism (the main ingredient in hoppin' john) goes back to civil war era when some small town in virginia apparently ran out of food while under attack and discovered the bean(pea?). have considered it lucky ever since.
pork - swine signifies progress. who knew?
(see: cuba, spain, portugal, hungary, austria--all of whom eat a roast suckling pig)
(see also: germany-sausages; sweden-pigs' feet)
(see also: italy & usa who think the fat content is indicative of wealth and prosperity...of course they do.)
fish - apparently a very wise choice around the globe. my favourite reasons go to japan: herring roe for fertility, shrimp for longevity, and sardines for a good harvest.
cakes & baked goods - always a reason to consume cake. although with some cultures, the cake is a gamble.
(see: mexico & greece who hide a trinket in a cake. whoever bites into that trinket is the one who gets the good fortune of the new year. and perhaps a hefty dentist bill.)
(see also: sweden & norway who have cut down on broken teeth by putting an almond, which is indeed edible, in rice pudding for the same reason as the trinket in the cake.)
whatever you do, do NOT eat the following (in no particular order):
lobster - they move backwards, which could signify setbacks
chicken - they scratch backwards, which could cause regret or dwelling on the past
(see also: any winged fowl - your good luck could fly away)
happy 2007.
12/30/06
drinking tears of sleeping birds
this story title sounds like the title of a gwar song...or cannibal corpse...or one of those crazy death metal bands. haha. when you read the story, use gwar speak in your head...it makes the story really funny.
moths drink the tears of sleeping birds
moths drink the tears of sleeping birds
12/24/06
happy christmas eve
whirlwind 4 days in NYC.
tried my feet at chopsticks on the giant floor piano at fao schwarz a la tom hanks in big, c. 1988
are you jealous? you should be.
12/7/06
regulars at the bar
a conversation:
[irish bloke]: "you know what you need to do? take a hot bath, with candles...and oatmeal."
[me]: "oatmeal? i eat oatmeal."
"well, don't eat it, but i'm serious it's so good for your inside and your outside. your skin will be wonderful. and it's relaxing."
"oatmeal."
"don't forget the champagne."
"then i may really try and eat the oatmeal."
"no, no, don't eat it...now, what do you do when your car breaks down?"
"smack my hand on the steering wheel and curse."
"well, besides that."
"walk."
"no, no. you just leave it where it breaks down?"
"no. i get it fixed."
"exactly."
"and?"
"that's the whole philosophy of life. something's not working, you get it fixed and move on."
[irish bloke]: "you know what you need to do? take a hot bath, with candles...and oatmeal."
[me]: "oatmeal? i eat oatmeal."
"well, don't eat it, but i'm serious it's so good for your inside and your outside. your skin will be wonderful. and it's relaxing."
"oatmeal."
"don't forget the champagne."
"then i may really try and eat the oatmeal."
"no, no, don't eat it...now, what do you do when your car breaks down?"
"smack my hand on the steering wheel and curse."
"well, besides that."
"walk."
"no, no. you just leave it where it breaks down?"
"no. i get it fixed."
"exactly."
"and?"
"that's the whole philosophy of life. something's not working, you get it fixed and move on."
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