conversations in a hospital #7

yesterday i was called in on a "how fast can you get here?" kinda call.
those ones always worry me, but also intrigue me in some twisted way.
i'm always expecting someone completely off the rails confused, or ripping tubes out of various orifices.
when i got to the floor, the clerk directed me to the pt's room. it was in the step-down unit.
step-down means the step between a critical care unit, like the ICU, and the actual unit they will end up on. usually it is a separate room on the same med/surg unit...but the ratio of RNs to pts is 1:2.
so immediately i thought i was in for a long day. it's very rarely we get called to be constant care for patients who pretty much have constant care from RNs.
this didn't end up being the case.
i spent the day with a wonderfully funny man, who was frustrated and did want to leave, but who wouldn't?
i later found out from his wife that the medication had made him really confused as everything he told me about all the money and land he had was not at all true.
he pulled it off pretty good though, i must say.
i thought he was joking when he kept asking me what other information i needed for the book i was writing on him. but it kept him talking.
and in between the confusion were nuggets of truth, wisdom and hilarity:

on being in a hospital gown:
"be careful in here. let 'em get a hold of your pants and you'll never see 'em again. i took my pants off over a month ago and haven't seen them since!"

speaking of foley catheters:
"you lose a lot in here. all i can do is lie here with a damn tube pullin on my bird"

on love & marriage:
"it's all whistles and bells until you have your first fight--then you're sitting there wondering "what's going on? we don't fight". then 10 mins later it's all forgotten about"

~
Music for a sunday morning: The Twilight Singers